I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
it was like eating out sand paper
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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