At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
