everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize