in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Randomize
