If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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