no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
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