I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
