I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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