It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Randomize
