This girl is more easily done than said...
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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