I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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