i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
