there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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