I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Randomize
