His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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