Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
