yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
