Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
