Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
