Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
