You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
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He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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