so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
