so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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