Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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