party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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