So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
