Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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