So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize