So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
