You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
