This is not my ceiling
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
