since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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