But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
