I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
