Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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