I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
