I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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