First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
love makes seman taste better
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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