Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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