I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
