got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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