sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
