I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
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Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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