Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
the condom got lost in my hair
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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