Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
