He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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