i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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