just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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