Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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