He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
