Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize