Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
