Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
