I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
My friends, they love my intelligence
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
