Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
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