I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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