Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
