Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
